La Douleur Exquise

Despite the bustling and craziness of this city, despite the barrage of culture in the form of arts and music, despite the daily novelty of exploring new neighborhoods, new 'hot spots'- a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought about my California loves. I feel like every new sight- whether it is the mention of 'Jewish frizz' or a Spongebob Squarepants balloon vendor in the park- comes with the memory of someone back home. Every time I do something exciting or fun, I feel a pang in my chest imagining how it would be thousand-fold better with the Californians.

The only thing more beautiful than realizing how much you love the people in your life and how blessed you are to live among so many uniquely phenomenal personalities is the exquisite pain of knowing you can't be with them.

This constant, nagging feeling culminated in a teary, drunken emotional release this weekend. Coming home from yet another crazy night, to phone calls and texts of the Berkeley crowd doing it big in Milpitas, I couldn't help but wonder why I left. What finally set me on emotional overload was receiving the best poem I've ever been written from the best friend I can ever hope for. Packed into 22 verses were the collective inside jokes, joys and sorrows of my past 3 years at Cal. I've never felt more loved and missed, and I finally realized that real friendships transcend time and distance barriers. I needn't worry about drifting apart, for all the history we've made as a group will more than hold up the fort while the physical presence is absent. I can't wait to pick up where we left off in August, guys.

And now I understand Rushdie's motivation in writing:
"Travel is pointless. It removed you from the place in which you had a meaning, and to which you gave meaning in return by dedicating your life to it, and it spirited you away into fairylands where you were, and looked, frankly absurd."

All the emotions handled, this is not to say I haven't kept up the exploration. With a slow week at work waiting for supplies to arrive, I had free evenings to check out some cool events.

Tuesday: Museum of Sex, very interesting and very cheap (~$9), I would suggest it for anyone who is genuinely interested in the history of sex and its progression in American culture. My favorite exhibit was 'Sex in Design/Design in Sex', and runner up was 'Action: Sex and the Moving Film'. I posted pictures here, but be warned, they are explicit! Also in the album, is Stars of Tomorrow, a series of free Jazz concerts at Hudson River Park.

Friday: Lunch with the entire lab at Dinosaur BBQ, a restaurant known for its custom-made sauces. Anyone who loves meat should go here.
Romeo and Juliet at Inwood Hill Park (218th St. and Indian Rd.), part of Uptown Arts Stroll sponsored by Columbia. This park was at the northwestern tip of Manhattan, and the play was very nice because for once, there weren't huge crowds, and the actors were actually professionals. Also, the park itself is very large, reclusive and peaceful, wrapping around multiple lakes.
Watched The Incredible Hulk at Times Square, then The Town Tavern in West Village with Keaton. All in all, great night, trying hard not to pass out on the Subway, and made it home by 5!

Saturday: The longest day of the year, celebrated in full style by the longest night ever.

Checked out The Met (Columbia students get in free!). Couldn't expect to get through it all in one visit, so we focused on the Superheroes Exhibit, and the Modern Art wing. Came across some very cool pieces in both.

Then dinner at Chinatown, walked around Little Italy (they're side by side, which I thought was funny) for a bit, then headed to St. Marks Place, at this Korean restaurant/bar called Gama, where about 10 Goldman people showed up. I'm liking this GS crowd, the more I meet- they're all nerdy engineers who know how to have fun, my favorite kind!
The great thing about having a New Yorker in your group (Derek's roommate Chris), is that they know where to go and they take you to all the great places. We had the most amazing munchies, this fries place at St. Marks with about 15 different dipping sauces (if only I could remember the name!).

Next we headed to this awesome lounge called the Coffee Shop in Union Square. It has a bar downstairs with a great, relaxing atmosphere (which still allows you to dance when the right song comes on). It asks for semi-classy attire, and drinks are reasonably priced (for NY and its location).
Last but not least, we headed down to Wall Street to relax on the Derek/Chris' terrace, which has an amazing view of the entire Financial District. Finally, when the sky started turning blue again, we called it a night and I made the painfully slow trek uptown on the 2, which runs local at late nights, and therefore stops at every stop in the 130 blocks to Harlem.
Peace, love and staying updated!

You know that tingly feeling in your stomach...

Papa Massoudi once described the excitement he got from the release of Brawl, "You know that tingly feeling in your stomach, when you like a girl, and you just found out she likes you back?" I must admit, I judged him a little that day. But I couldn't relate more today, when I found myself beaming and practically skipping for joy at work.

What could possibly be analogous to a game that gives the guys so many voluntary sleepless nights? The beginning of a new project that will probably, also, give me many sleepless nights.

Today, I began writing a proposal for a new project, in an entirely new vein in research. Ah, I love these early stages of research- when you can have high aspirations and and wild fantasies of making ground-breaking discoveries. The butterflies in my stomach from placing a PO with Fisher are comparable to the flushed cheeks and Quyen-beam that comes from an amazing first date. The sense of validation I get from reviewing the literature and setting better, more advanced goals is equivalent to that feeling of just knowing there will be a second date. And getting your Post-Doc's approval, now thats like the first kiss, that seals the deal and lets you know amazing things are about to unfold.

This is all before the crippling realities of the project unfold, before you get sucked into the painful minutiae of the protocols that will keep you at work past sundown (you know, those little details about every guy that you don't find out until you're too invested to dump him over it). How difficult is basic fuchsin staining? Would it be better if I dehydrated my bone in 70% or 80% ethanol? For 3 or 4 hours? Is the 1-micron resolution on the confocal microscope worth the extra time in collecting projections?

Nevertheless, excited I am. After two weeks of doing mind-numbing cortical segmentation and feeling like the ultimate lab rat, I am finally doing some mentally stimulating work. I have always worked with bone on a macroscale, and for the first time now, I will be examining bone at a cellular level. Specifically, I will be quantifying the 3-D microstructure of lacunar canaliculi of osteocytes in cortical bone and seeing how fluid flow through these porosities translates into mechanosensory information. Yeah, its a mouthful. Don't worry, I just learned what lacunae and canaliculi were today, hopefully by August 18th I will know enough about it to submit to ORS 09, in Vegas, baby!

Thanks for bearing with me!

Coming of Age Weekend!

Ah, 21. So much anticipation, so much build-up, and I must say this day (weekend, actually) lived up to its expectation and more. I don't have the energy for a detailed description, but I'll give a brief outline, and let you see the namesake album on Facebook.

Friday night: Went dress shopping with Jiasi back at Pier 17 and her friend Nikitha, ended up walking across the Brooklyn Bridge, which was beautiful. By the time we got back, it was midnight, so we went to La Negrita, I ordered my first drink. My first bar night was incredibly fun.

Thanks so much for all the phone calls, texts and hilarious voicemails everyone. It almost, almost made up for not having you guys around on this day.

Saturday morning was a bit painful, but I eventually overcame the hangover and went to Central Park for Vampire Weekend, where the line was literally a mile long (no, seriously). Unfortunately, a crazy thunderstorm broke out and DRENCHED us, cancelling the concert so we went on home.

As I was getting ready for Saturday night, I was feeling a twinge of sadness that this was my first birthday without a cake (a.k.a. the Terpine Mascarpone Rev promised me over a year ago), and just then I get an awesome surprise delivery of cookies and brownies right to my door, that was great!

Saturday night we did it classy, went to Dizzy's Club Coca Cola at the Lincoln Center for a Caribbean Jazz show by 21st Century Band. It was amazing, I seriously want to learn how to play the saxophone now. Dizzy's offers lots of great student discounts, so if you ever want to go to a jazz club, this is a great place to start.

Afterwards we went up north towards Columbia, hit an Irish pub there, then had munchies at Tom's Restaurant, which is the restaurant taped in Seinfeld! Finally made it to Columbia's campus, with the point being to see it at dark, but by that time, daylight was creeping up on us again. Finally I stumbled home at 5:30am on Sunday, my feet dead from a memorable but painful 10 hours in heels.

That wasn't as brief as I hoped, sorry, but this is also my personal diary, so I'm glad I got it all down.

Also, for all those who sent me (or have promised to send me!) mail, I haven't checked my mail yet, but thanks alot, I NEVER get exciting snail mail!

:-)

Musical Explorations

Someone told me Houstin, Texas was the live music capital of the United States. Whoever decided this must never been to New York City. There is live music-correction, free live music- everywhere, so much so that I rarely use my iPod. From the borderline-homeless playing at Subway stations to the numerous summer concert series' throughout the city, there is music at every corner, catered to every taste. A live jazz band outside the Guggenheim. A man playing the Star-Spangled Banner on a saw (shown to the left) at Taste of Times Square.

I've never been big on music, and the only concert I've really attended (and sitting behind The Greek Theatre does NOT count) was Red Hot Chili Peppers in Oakland, but I'm really starting to appreciate live music. And its so much easier to do when its everywhere and its free.

So Tuesday we saw Gnarls Barkley play at the Apple Store in SoHo. They were promoting the release of their album (on iTunes, like Coldplay's Viva La Vida), The Odd Couple. They played a few lounging, jazzy songs which I liked but can't remember the name of. Then they butchered their one hit 'Crazy' with a slow, torturous remix and it was over.
On a side note, SoHo is a very trendy, fashion-aware neighborhood, and the one thing I noticed, is that wearing black-on-black (yes, yes, like the Storm of Justice) is very 'in'. At least half the women I saw were dressed in all-black on a 95-degrees day. Then Jiasi informed me that someone told her it was almost mandatory to wear black to attend a party in SoHo. Interesting.

Wednesday I went to see live Jazz at Pier 17, right around South Seaport. I must say, I am really liking jazz. It may be simply because it is played at every public gathering in this city, that I am beginning to associate it with a fun, carefree and exploratory mood. Either way, Pier 17 is an amazing place. I got my first glimpse of Brooklyn, Wall Street and Governor's Island-and was introduced to this concept of a New York City Water Taxi.

Most importantly, girls, listen closely. I found this awesome dress-boutique in the mall inside Pier 17, called The Stone Flower. Ever since I got here I have been looking for light, summery dresses that are wearable in this humid weather yet nice enough for a night out. This store has just that. The dresses are all hand-made by the owner, so they are unique (seriously, only 1 of each dress in the store) and cheap ($25-45). They have a great selection of day and evening dresses for every occasion. I spent an hour in this tiny 12'x12' shop and tried on about 10 dresses, finally settling to buy just 3. I plan on going back there again soon.


Finally, today was all about watching Kevin Robinson do the Red Bull Experiment and attempt to break the world record for highest jump on a BMX. Red Bull built a 60-foot launch ramp in Central Park and crowds gathered to watch. Being the Big Apple, there had to be live music at this event. A few no-name bands played, and then, much to my surprise and elation, Talib Kweli came on stage! For those who don't know, he is a political rapper who ranks in the top-five of my favorite lyricists alongside my all-time favorites Mos Def, Common and The Roots. I've spent years listening to rappers sing about their cities, and I totally forgot how many are New York natives. His unannounced appearance only increased my respect for this city in attracting the biggest names of every industry.
After all the music, 'K-Rob' did come out and do the deed. The previous record was 26'6'' above the ramp, and he managed to do 27' tonight. It was pretty amazing to watch how fast he was going at the bottom of the half-pipe. He did, unfortunately, fall during most of his landings, but bounced back every time.

Also, for you skaters out there, a few of Kevin's friends came and did some jumps off the half-pipe as well, and one was a skater, now his looked pretty damn amazing.

Now I have to make slides for tomorrow's lab meeting, so in the words of (some Pig on cartoon?):

That's all folks!

Thank you, E.B. White

Today on the Subway, I saw a quote (as a part of Columbia University's new Train of Thought program, go Lions!) that made me, for once, appreciate being a visitor to this city:

“There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. […] Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion.”
- E.B. White, Here is New York

This past week (oh my god, has it really only been a week?), I have fully embraced my tourist attributes. I walk around with a subway map at all times, pull out my camera at any large sign or New York icon, and am constantly asking "which way is __ st?" upon exiting the subway. I am new to this city and I love it. It gives me a great excuse for not knowing anything about it, and for that reason, I am not afraid to ask- and thus why I'm learning and exploring so much. To this day I don't feel comfortable in San Francisco. It's because I was raised near it, but never really explored it, so by the time I got to college, I got a lot of "You've never been there? But you live here!" This made me incredibly hesitant to ask questions about or explore San Francisco, even though I've been working there for two years now. Its sad, really, but I'm glad I have no such hindrance in New York.

Unfortunately natives of this city don't reciprocate the enthusiasm of visitors. At least so I've heard. I have received plenty of help from strangers, but who knows how many of them were secretly grumbling to their friends about annoying tourists after I left. Personally, if I lived in an internationally acclaimed city, I would consider myself honored every time I helped out a visitor. Don't these natives understand? The reasons visitors come is to get a bite of what the natives have-intimacy and familiarity with the city to the point where street signs are superfluous and restaurant recommendations are locally-known, 'hole-in-the-wall' places.

But now I realize how wrong visitors are to want that familiarity. We have our place in this three-fold population, we bring the passion. The natives create the culture, but don't have the enthusiasm and energy to appreciate it. That's where we come in. Yes, we want to see the skyline. Yes, we want to take a picture of every location we may have seen in a movie. Yes, we want to pose for a picture next to a sign saying 'Wall Street'. But the hope is, in our obnoxious Paparazzi-ing, we'll drag along the occasional native and allow them to take a step back and enjoy the livelihood they helped foster.

Stay classy San Francisco!

The Bad, the Ugly

I've received a few requests (or shall I call them complaints) for unfiltered details, so here goes. You guys have all heard whats been amazing about New York, now you're going to get the nitty gritty, the bare essentials, on what sucks.

I have yet to see toilet seat covers in New York.

Last night on the street, this exchange occurred:
-guy on street: Do you know where the nearest liquor store is?
--me, while continuing walking: No.
-guy on street: You don't wanna drink? You don't wanna fuck? You don't wanna suck?

There are massive, and I kid you not, mounds of trash on the streets. This ranges from simple wrappers and bags on the streets to the 15-20 black garbage bags piled on the sidewalk perpetually waiting for pickup.

I keep seeing these blue trucks in Harlem with giant suctioning hoses labeled "#1 for picking up number 2"-one can only assume lack of plumbing.

Yesterday at Tompkins Square Park, we couldn't sit on a bench because there was 6-inch diameter, 3-inch high pile of dog shit covered in flies.

Those beautiful horse-drawn carriages going through Central Park, the horses shit as they go, and no one cleans it up.

My roommate rarely stays in her NY apartment because she has a house in New Jersey (with a pool!). And she never cooks (the refrigerator had only a water jug when I came in). Naturally she decides to do both on the hottest weekend possible, so the non-AC apartment is actually 10 degrees hotter than outside.

I always heard NY was a dirty city, and I used to think that was a simple matter of density- you simply can't be clean with that many people crowded into one city. But now I'm starting to believe its a matter of choice. Toilet seat covers, seriously?! And how hard is it to place garbage dumpsters on the street so as not to litter the sidewalks. And how simple to install posts with doggy litter-bags and signs encouraging people to clean up after their pets? I'm not saying these measures would have a significant effect, but the fact that the city hasn't done so shows they are at peace with their filth and unsanitary conditions.

Needless to say, I have more than overcome these drawbacks. I would have to, otherwise I couldn't enjoy all that this city has to offer. You asked for details, there it is.

Hot Child in the City

Today I got my first taste of a New York summer. Ninety-four degrees, 60% humidity- what better to do than run around and play outdoor games in the city? This weekend is the Come Out and Play festival in New York. I'm not sure how to describe it, but its a non-profit organization that coordinates this annual festival in different cities each year. Games played are usually scavenger-hunt, hide-and-go-seek type games, but played in public spaces on large scale, and with total strangers. Its a recipe for madness, and incredible fun.

The games we got a chance to play were: Super Happy Fun City Bingo and Search Brigade, both taking place in Tompkins Square Park in the Lower East Side. In the first- we received a poster-board and a polaroid camera, and had 10 minutes to capture stills of as many bingo squares as we could. A few examples of the squares were: a Toyota (we never found one), a flying fish (the organizers put a Nemo doll in a tree), and a dance party (we created one with a stranger carrying a boom-box and two confused old tourists). It was insane running around the park in that mid-day heat, we were sweating profusely from start to finish, but it was totally worth it: we got 14 squares. Unfortunately some other team got 16, so we got 2nd place. Our prize? Dildo-resembling 'Bingo markers' of all colors.

The 2nd game, Search Brigade, was something I had never played before, but out of the group of ~20 people, 3 were made Brigadiers, aka searchers, and the rest were Fugitives. We were all given walkie-talkies (the fugitives and searchers were on different bandwiths) to coordinate cornerings. The Fugitives were to hide in the park, and every time one was caught by a Brigadier, they also became a Brigadier. I volunteered to be a searcher, which was really fun, because I'd much rather chase than be chased. And chase I did. I'm proud to say I caught 3 people on my own, plus an awesome 3-way assist catch between myself, Derek and another Brigadier. So the game comes to conclusion when only one fugitive is left, he/she must survive 5 minutes without getting caught, and they win. Our last man standing was actually very sly, inconspicuously lounging in the grass with the other park-goers. Derek spotted him, however, and this crazy chase began. Me and another Brigadier were hot on his tail, and had him cornered in a basketball court, but he scaled a NINE-FOOT fence in like 35 seconds and survived. Insane. Below is our Search Brigade crew, CW from top: Derek, Laura, Michelle, Jiasi (pronounced Jesse), and me.

The funny thing was that Jiasi was still an un-caught fugitive, but either her walkie-talkie died or she was out of range, because she never heard the end of the game and was sitting in her bush for a good 10 or 15 minutes after the game ended, sorry Jiasi. Needless to say, she didn't like this game very much.


Afterwards, tired, hot and sticky as can be from all the running and sweating, we decided it was food time. Where to? White Castle we decided. But first we blazed up and danced around with giant bags of weed, of course. A full meal under $5, the cost and taste of McDonald's, but I'm glad we knocked that off our list of places to eat.

I feel like Nick Gilder's song never applied more than today, to our entire group:
Hot child in the city
Runnin' wild and lookin' [sweaty],
So young to be loose and on [their] own,
When [they] go downtown, [they] walk like [they] just don't care, care
Hot child in the city

I love you New York!

OMG I totally forgot, I met Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock!

My First Celebrity Sighting!

Thanks to the amazing Google Reader, I was informed of Salman Rushdie coming to Barnes & Noble, Union Square to do a book reading and signing of his new book The Enchantress of Florence. For those who aren't aware, and are too lazy to click the link, Rushdie is a Muslim author famous (some would say notorious) for his controversial books on Islam and politics. I have only read one of his books, Shame, which I loved. I have always wanted to go back and read The Satanic Verses, for which he was exiled from Pakistan. His magic realism sends the reader on an acid trip while seamlessly blending history and fiction. His criticism of the runnings of the Pakistani, Indian and Iranian governments is so thinly-veiled in his novels, he needn't bother change names. Yet there is something in his blatant disregard of the consequences of his writing that draws the reader in, convincing them he has a secret to share. With this joy I begin his latest work, ready for the magical realism that will give me cryptic dreams for nights to come.


Oh, also included: Statue of Ghandhi at Union Square Park which struck me as oddly placed, and rendezvous with Goldman Boys continue, dinner at some delicious Mexican place near Mamoun's.


G'nite Cali!

Museum Mile Festival

(9 Museums, 1 mile, 0 dollars)
A picture is worth a thousand words they say, I give you 6 grand:

The Guggenheim


Cathedral across from Rockefeller Center. My favorite NYC structural picture so far, really captures the magnificence of this cathedral in the midst of skyscrapers.
Rockefeller Center
How often do you see a giant blue M&M? Its stupid reasons like this I'm falling in love with this city.G'nite!

Ode to a Californian Kitchen

It was inevitable, no matter how exciting New York could possibly be, I was going to miss Berkeley sooner or later. But it struck me in the oddest way.

I miss my kitchen. With its matching toaster and rice cooker. With its microwave stolen from a previous roommate. Crowded though its counter space may be, it is stocked full of non-stick pots and pans, complete knives and fork sets, an accessible and spacious sink. With multiple large coffee mugs for my morning chai.

On the other hand, I am finally feeling at home in this apartment. How do I know? I cooked breakfast in my underwear t, a surefire sign.

I also started work today. Not going to lie, not that exciting. The lab is a single room, no windows. About 15 people in my lab, ALL asian (as in all from china, taiwan, hong kong). Definitely a step down from UCSF. Coming from a large lab with seemingly endless resources to Columbia's 1-room Bone Bioengineering Lab, I feel like a silver-spoon fed child dropped in the middle of a dairy farm and asked to manage. I was like "oh, I don't know how to back-up data, we have special techs do that for us" (Never appreciated Andy, Bryan and Ayako more). But I am sure the city will more than compensate.

Finally, I went to the Taste of Times Square with the Goldman Squad* today. Three blocks on W46th shut down and 50 of the most popular restaurants around Times Square gives samples of their food for $3-5. I tried Buffalo Alligator, which is essentially buffalo wings, made with alligator. Tastes like chicken, but more moist, I'd suggest it. Also some delicious bread pudding, also shown below.So I'm obviously still having issues with picture placement on this site. At least I figured out I can shrink my images on ImageJ (thanks Kate for downloading that to my computer for 115) so its faster uploads since no one needs to see my face in 2560x1980 dimensions.

Tired as hell, good night kids!

*Copyright Ravi Dharawat, referring to ~10 Cal EECS students working at Goldman Sachs this summer.

Hello Harlem

It comes as no surprise that I was a sheltered as a child. As a matter of fact, I first heard of Harlem through the infamous 'Harlem Shake' in high school. Any mention of this neighborhood since then always came with negative connotations. Poverty. High crime rate. Much did I know one day I would call this place home.

However, when walking through Harlem, the poverty and crime weren't the first things I noticed. I saw a tightly-knit community with exceptional pride in their heritage and the accomplishments of their people. This was evident in signs everywhere: Sojourner Truth School, Malcolm X Avenue, Marcus Garvey Park. Sitting out on the steps weren't gun-bearing drug-dealers, but family elders sharing stories of the past with passersby and carefree, playing children. Not once, but three times I was offered help in opening a door or carrying luggage by such strangers. Not to glaze over the persistent smell of urine and inordinate amount of (hopefully) animal feces on the sidewalks, Harlem definitely reeks renovation, but there is culture to compensate.

My first real Harlem experience was the Mafrika Music Festival in Marcus Gravey Park. It was amazing. I am not really a fan of reggae, but hearing it live, in this cozy, multi-level park in the middle of the city was unlike anything I imagined. My favorite group was Brown Rice Family, whose songs 'Take Me Away', 'I Feel Like Dancing' were the best.

After that, I went to check out Columbia, nothing exciting there, except that I'm pretty sure my lab has no windows, definitely a step down from UCSF.

Finally I decided to brave the subway and head downtown. I stopped at Times Square for a grand ten minutes, long enough to see the huge flashy signs, the hordes of people (now this is how I imagined NY to be), then hopped back on subway to (further) downtown to meet up with Ravi. Got off at W 4th st and 6th Avenue, GREAT places for food here! Walked around, ate at this delicious hole-in-the-wall falafel place in Greenwich Village. Our appetites satisfied, we decided to go in pursuit of this tall building with blue lighting at the top where we kept seeing flashes, so we assumed people were up there, taking pictures. Turns out the building was much further than we imagined, about 30 or so blocks, but when we got there, we discovered it was the Empire State Building, aka tallest building in NYC post-911. So we paid the $19 and went up! AWESOME views!
Now its 1am and I have my first day of work tomorrow, good night!