La Douleur Exquise

Despite the bustling and craziness of this city, despite the barrage of culture in the form of arts and music, despite the daily novelty of exploring new neighborhoods, new 'hot spots'- a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought about my California loves. I feel like every new sight- whether it is the mention of 'Jewish frizz' or a Spongebob Squarepants balloon vendor in the park- comes with the memory of someone back home. Every time I do something exciting or fun, I feel a pang in my chest imagining how it would be thousand-fold better with the Californians.

The only thing more beautiful than realizing how much you love the people in your life and how blessed you are to live among so many uniquely phenomenal personalities is the exquisite pain of knowing you can't be with them.

This constant, nagging feeling culminated in a teary, drunken emotional release this weekend. Coming home from yet another crazy night, to phone calls and texts of the Berkeley crowd doing it big in Milpitas, I couldn't help but wonder why I left. What finally set me on emotional overload was receiving the best poem I've ever been written from the best friend I can ever hope for. Packed into 22 verses were the collective inside jokes, joys and sorrows of my past 3 years at Cal. I've never felt more loved and missed, and I finally realized that real friendships transcend time and distance barriers. I needn't worry about drifting apart, for all the history we've made as a group will more than hold up the fort while the physical presence is absent. I can't wait to pick up where we left off in August, guys.

And now I understand Rushdie's motivation in writing:
"Travel is pointless. It removed you from the place in which you had a meaning, and to which you gave meaning in return by dedicating your life to it, and it spirited you away into fairylands where you were, and looked, frankly absurd."

All the emotions handled, this is not to say I haven't kept up the exploration. With a slow week at work waiting for supplies to arrive, I had free evenings to check out some cool events.

Tuesday: Museum of Sex, very interesting and very cheap (~$9), I would suggest it for anyone who is genuinely interested in the history of sex and its progression in American culture. My favorite exhibit was 'Sex in Design/Design in Sex', and runner up was 'Action: Sex and the Moving Film'. I posted pictures here, but be warned, they are explicit! Also in the album, is Stars of Tomorrow, a series of free Jazz concerts at Hudson River Park.

Friday: Lunch with the entire lab at Dinosaur BBQ, a restaurant known for its custom-made sauces. Anyone who loves meat should go here.
Romeo and Juliet at Inwood Hill Park (218th St. and Indian Rd.), part of Uptown Arts Stroll sponsored by Columbia. This park was at the northwestern tip of Manhattan, and the play was very nice because for once, there weren't huge crowds, and the actors were actually professionals. Also, the park itself is very large, reclusive and peaceful, wrapping around multiple lakes.
Watched The Incredible Hulk at Times Square, then The Town Tavern in West Village with Keaton. All in all, great night, trying hard not to pass out on the Subway, and made it home by 5!

Saturday: The longest day of the year, celebrated in full style by the longest night ever.

Checked out The Met (Columbia students get in free!). Couldn't expect to get through it all in one visit, so we focused on the Superheroes Exhibit, and the Modern Art wing. Came across some very cool pieces in both.

Then dinner at Chinatown, walked around Little Italy (they're side by side, which I thought was funny) for a bit, then headed to St. Marks Place, at this Korean restaurant/bar called Gama, where about 10 Goldman people showed up. I'm liking this GS crowd, the more I meet- they're all nerdy engineers who know how to have fun, my favorite kind!
The great thing about having a New Yorker in your group (Derek's roommate Chris), is that they know where to go and they take you to all the great places. We had the most amazing munchies, this fries place at St. Marks with about 15 different dipping sauces (if only I could remember the name!).

Next we headed to this awesome lounge called the Coffee Shop in Union Square. It has a bar downstairs with a great, relaxing atmosphere (which still allows you to dance when the right song comes on). It asks for semi-classy attire, and drinks are reasonably priced (for NY and its location).
Last but not least, we headed down to Wall Street to relax on the Derek/Chris' terrace, which has an amazing view of the entire Financial District. Finally, when the sky started turning blue again, we called it a night and I made the painfully slow trek uptown on the 2, which runs local at late nights, and therefore stops at every stop in the 130 blocks to Harlem.
Peace, love and staying updated!

You know that tingly feeling in your stomach...

Papa Massoudi once described the excitement he got from the release of Brawl, "You know that tingly feeling in your stomach, when you like a girl, and you just found out she likes you back?" I must admit, I judged him a little that day. But I couldn't relate more today, when I found myself beaming and practically skipping for joy at work.

What could possibly be analogous to a game that gives the guys so many voluntary sleepless nights? The beginning of a new project that will probably, also, give me many sleepless nights.

Today, I began writing a proposal for a new project, in an entirely new vein in research. Ah, I love these early stages of research- when you can have high aspirations and and wild fantasies of making ground-breaking discoveries. The butterflies in my stomach from placing a PO with Fisher are comparable to the flushed cheeks and Quyen-beam that comes from an amazing first date. The sense of validation I get from reviewing the literature and setting better, more advanced goals is equivalent to that feeling of just knowing there will be a second date. And getting your Post-Doc's approval, now thats like the first kiss, that seals the deal and lets you know amazing things are about to unfold.

This is all before the crippling realities of the project unfold, before you get sucked into the painful minutiae of the protocols that will keep you at work past sundown (you know, those little details about every guy that you don't find out until you're too invested to dump him over it). How difficult is basic fuchsin staining? Would it be better if I dehydrated my bone in 70% or 80% ethanol? For 3 or 4 hours? Is the 1-micron resolution on the confocal microscope worth the extra time in collecting projections?

Nevertheless, excited I am. After two weeks of doing mind-numbing cortical segmentation and feeling like the ultimate lab rat, I am finally doing some mentally stimulating work. I have always worked with bone on a macroscale, and for the first time now, I will be examining bone at a cellular level. Specifically, I will be quantifying the 3-D microstructure of lacunar canaliculi of osteocytes in cortical bone and seeing how fluid flow through these porosities translates into mechanosensory information. Yeah, its a mouthful. Don't worry, I just learned what lacunae and canaliculi were today, hopefully by August 18th I will know enough about it to submit to ORS 09, in Vegas, baby!

Thanks for bearing with me!